beat the brochure

In case you missed it, Scotland is poised to hold a referendum in the next few years on whether it should leave the United Kingdom and become an independent country. Therefore there is a very real possibility that a Scotland sized hole will be left in the Union which needs to be filled if we want to retain our status within the world.

But which country can step up to the plate and fill it? Here are Beat the Brochure HQ, I have taken the time to put forward the island of Tenerife as the perfect replacement.

Flag Issues

Currently, the Union flag incorporates the flags of Scotland, England and Northern Island (poor Wales). If Scotland leaves, the flag will become outdated and will need to be redesigned – cue disastrous ‘modern’ concepts which will embarrass us around the world. But fear not, because if Tenerife was to join the UK this whole issue would be avoided. Tenerife’s flag is almost identical to Scotland’s – problem solved!

Exchange islands

Tenerife belongs to Spain. Gibraltar belongs to the UK. See where this is going? The Spanish have been a bit touchy over Gibraltar and would probably like it back. All David Cameron would have to do is do a bit of swappsies and get us Tenerife in exchange. It probably wouldn’t be that hard really, just a few pesky i’s to dot and t’s to cross I assume.

Tenerife loves Nelson

Who is our greatest military hero? That’s right, Admiral Horatio Lord Nelson, the man who has his own column in Trafalgar Square. As you know, he lost his arm in battle, but what you may not know is that this battle took place when Nelson attacked the city of Santa Cruz, Tenerife. Despite losing his arm, he received excellent medical care and a bit of mutual respect existed between Nelson and the islanders since – respect that would go a long way to help today’s islanders fit in perfectly with the rest of the UK.

Half of the UK have visited Tenerife

OK, maybe not half, but every year thousands of Brits head over to enjoy cheap Tenerife holidays in the sun. Us pasty Brits know all about the way of life on Tenerife and if you were to ask the vast majority of people if they would like Tenerife to replace Scotland, most would probably say yes (including the Scots). Within a few years Tenerife could be full of Greggs bakeries and Wetherspoons pubs. Sounds amazing doesn’t it?

Solve the drinking problem

Scotland contributes heavily to the so called binge drinking problem which exists in the UK. If they were to leave the Union, it would therefore make sense to replace them with a country whose citizens – for some unknown reason – never finish their drinks. It is customary on the island to always leave around half an inch of drink in a glass. This would no doubt help to cut the drinking problem, and you never know it could catch on elsewhere in the UK too.

In preparation for this eventually, why not take advantage of all inclusive holiday deals to Tenerife to check out our new neighbours?